


Going Under

by skihale



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Team as Family, panic disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 17:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6762934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skihale/pseuds/skihale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata is in the middle of practice when he's knocked off his feet and into a deep abyss that he can't get out of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Under

**Author's Note:**

> Quick Warning for heavy description of a panic attack. This is only one way of how a panic attack can present itself (how mine are), it's different for everyone who struggles with them.

Hinata rushed forward from his rear guard position to receive the spike that Asahi was setting up to unleash. He let out a yell with a wide grin, calling the ball and letting his teammates know to get the hell out of dodge. The rubber of his sneakers squeaked against the gymnasium floor as he came to a skidding stop, angling his hips just so and locking his elbows, ready to keep the ball in play. That was when he realized his mistake, when he saw Asahi’s eyes narrow as the ace spiked the ball at his feet rather than towards the back of the court like Hinata had originally calculated. 

 

The ball smashed into the floor with a loud bang that echoed off the rafters menacingly and before Hinata could get out of the way it slammed into the center of his chest; effectively knocking the air out of his lungs. His back hit the gleaming wood with a defined smack that served to wind him further. He felt tears burn the back of his eyes when he couldn’t immediately inhale as his entire body went rigid from the shock of the blow.

 

Fear coursed through his veins like a hurricane as ice scorched its way along his every nerve and just as he opened his mouth to cry out, air flooded his lungs like lava pouring down his throat. The tears that had been on the edge of his lashes began to stream down his cheeks at the agonizing pain and he grasped his throat desperately as he hacked out a series of coughs that shook him to the very core. His lungs floored themselves into overdrive, a car speeding itself towards a precipice, as they heaved in fast and sharp breaths.

 

The skin across his shoulder blades seemed to tighten like a coil stretched to the point of snapping and the muscles in his chest clenched harshly. Hinata curled up on the floor and unfurled himself, over and over again, as he tried to release the tension in vain. Deep down he knew that he was okay, that he’d taken a shot like that to the face before and that he would be alright; if he could _just fucking breathe_. As he lay there on the floor, it felt as if the entire world had been rid of all the oxygen and he was slowly suffocating.

 

It was a feeling that he was all too familiar with, that was all too hard to get rid of and at that thought Hinata began to feel dizzy, like he was falling into a dark void. The usually dormant anxiety that resided in the deepest recesses of his subconscious rose to the surface with deadly sharpened claws that penetrated his thoughts, morphing into a sickening panic. In that moment with nothing to comfort him but the solid hard wood that dug into his skin where he laid out on the floor, he could feel everything and nothing. The torrential downpour that pelted his last threads of sanity became a swirling ocean tide, dragging him further beneath the surface and into the undercurrent.

 

Fighting became exhausting as Hinata gasped for air, gnashing at the tears and finally the fierce grip of his vocal chords begging him to scream became too much; so scream he did. Loud and piercing. He was trapped in a vicious void of pressure that held him down with the weight of a thousand tons. Hinata could feel all of it and his thoughts became severe with alarm; this was what dying felt like. He could feel his very soul being ripped apart, shredded to pieces that he would never be able to put together again.

 

Hinata threw himself out across the ground, his only source of worldly purchase, and cried. He cried for the fear that stole his heart and cried for the injustice of it all. He cried for the family he would leave behind and for his teammates who meant so much to him. He cried because he would never play volleyball again, he cried because he would never watch Natsu grow up, he cried because he would never find love, and he cried because _he couldn’t fucking breathe_. He cried for he knew with great dread that he would never wake from this nightmare.

 

And then like a touch through a thin sheet, he felt more. Cold, chilled hands briefly glancing along his heated skin in a way that burned and Hinata cried out. He tried to escape the terrifying touch but even colder arms wrapped around him firmly, pulling him off of the floor and suddenly he was weightless. He fought and screamed and cried. He pleaded to be let go, to be allowed to live. He begged not to die. Not like this, when he was still so young and had so much left to give.

 

As the arms maneuvered his body, avoiding his swings in the dark, a soft muffled voice reached him through the depths as he squirmed this way and that in the fight to save himself. His will to live had been revived with that touch, so at first the voice was indistinguishable. After a particularly hard kick that found a mark he tried again, but the arms jerked him up against something wet, cool, and rough as the voice spoke again. It was soft and gentle and warm and kind.

 

The voice was faint as it repeated itself and Hinata was unable to process the words, though he began to still his frantic movements. Again the murmured, comforting sound graced him and he realized that it was not the source of his demise, but that it was his salvation. He forced his way towards that voice, out of the darkness and towards the light at the surface. Whimpers escaped his throat as he sought that voice, begging for the sound of the one that could save him. Through the fog he slipped his arms around the first thing he could find and held on tightly, like a drowning man clinging to a life raft.

 

“Shouyou,” the voice said as he was shifted around into a reclining position and Hinata’s heart clenched with the fear of losing himself, of his savior letting go. He held on all the tighter as he continued to cry. “Shouyou, open your eyes,” the savior said with a calming press of lips to his forehead, “It isn’t dark if you open your eyes.” The words slipped into his consciousness and though he struggled he forced his eyes open, blinking against the blinding light above him.

 

“Take a deep breath with me okay? You have to breathe slow,” Fingers splayed against his chest and rubbed in a soothing circle, “Breathe in, one..two..three..four, Hold, one..two..three..four..five..six..seven, Breathe out, one..two..three..four..five..six..seven..eight.”

 

Weak-limbed and weak-willed, Hinata began to follow along in breathing to the counts and to focus on the bright surroundings. The first thing to become clear were the large lights on the ceiling of the gymnasium and the feeling of being held across someone’s lap. As his lungs shuddered with the effort, his eyes found a volleyball net above him and a white sweat-soaked shirt against his cheek. He glanced up into concerned brown eyes. “Breathe with me, Shouyou.” Sugawara said as the older man held him just as firmly.

 

Hinata watched the motion of the seniors lips as he continued to attempt matching his breathing to Sugawara’s. They continued on like that as Hinata settled down more and more, coming back to himself. His chest was sore from where the ball had hit him, but the darkness was fading. A sense of calm rushed over him as another set of hands joined Sugawara’s on his body, running over his arms and down the only stretch of his back that could be reached.

 

Hinata looked back to find Daichi sitting as close to them as possible without touching them. His large hands, warm in contrast to Sugawara’s, continued to rub soothing patterns into his skin. Reaching out towards him, Daichi chuckled and complied to the request by lifting himself onto his knee pads and settling himself to wrap his arms around them both. Hinata took in an easy breath as the rest of the anxiety that had built up within him snuffed itself out. He snuggled up between the two, holding firmly to the buoys in the middle of a sea that was finally calming after a storm.

 

“You’re okay, Shouyou, you’re safe.” Daichi murmured against Hinata’s forehead and Sugawara’s jawline where they were curled against one another. Without a care in the world, and through the tears that he couldn’t quite stop, Hinata planted a small kiss on the bottom of Daichi’s chin and then to Sugawara’s neck; the closest that he could reach. They both hummed at the action and wrapped themselves further around him.

 

Hinata had never felt so safe, loved, and cared for. After a few more moments of the calm peace, Sugawara nuzzled the top of his head and murmured softly for only the three of them to hear, “Why don’t we leave these sweaty beasts to their game while we go get something cold to eat? Like some ice cream? Or some watermelon juice to drink?” Hinata nodded quickly, but kept his face buried in Sugawara’s shirt at the reminder of the other players, his teammates; he had been in the middle of a mock match when his panic attack hit.

 

At the affirmation, Daichi stood and easily gathered Hinata from Sugawara’s arms. The moment Hinata was secure with his face hidden in the crook of Daichi’s neck the man called out, “Everything’s fine, Yamaguchi take Hinata’s place! Shimizu, wrap up practice after the match please?” The manager must have given an affirmative, because Hinata felt Daichi nod.

 

“Right!” Hinata heard from the left and he peeked out to see that Yamaguchi had been standing by to make sure that he was alright. He allowed his teammate to lean up and cuddle him shortly before Yamaguchi gave him a reassuring smile as he went to Hinata’s previous place on the court. “Don’t worry, I’ll finish this up Hinata!”

 

This made Hinata giggle softly along with the rest of his team as Daichi walked out of the gymnasium with Sugawara by their side to the sound of Nishinoya's voice comforting Asahi, "Don't mind Asa-chan! They'll take care of him and you can apologize later!"

 

As they walked, Hinata sighed while reaching out for Sugawara, “I’m sorry. It hit so fast this time.” The vice-captain took his outstretched hand with a smile that lit up the already sunny day. It also seemed to dry the lingering tears on Hinata's cheeks, like the sun drying up a puddle.

 

“That’s why we’re here Shouyou, to help bring you back just as fast.” Sugawara comforted with a small kiss to the back of his hand, “We’re just glad that you weren’t injured. You’ll be sore for a while, but you’ll be alright.”

 

“We’ll always be here to bring you back.” Daichi said in confirmation and Hinata smiled, not mentioning that they would be graduating in the spring.

 

“Thank you for being my saviors.” He said and the captains face flushed.

 

“Saviors?” Daichi choked out disbelievingly and Hinata digressed with a soft smile.

 

“Angel’s then.” He sighed in compromise, settling down into Daichi’s embraced comfortably.

 

Daichi rustled him a bit to adjust his weight out of embarrassment and Hinata laughed softly. “Angel’s then,” he said with a firm kiss to Hinata’s cheek.

 

Sugawara nodded along with an indulgent smile, “Angel’s, ne?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


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